Wouldn't you like to stop the madness every once in a while? No I don't mean kill yourself... Just stop the madness that you create every day. The stuff that pushes you to asking yourself "What did I get myself into?", "When is this going to end?", "Why can't I just say no?", or even "What is wrong with me?".
I have been working my butt off for years now trying to "make something of myself". I spend hours at a computer, easel or desk with my bad back getting worse and worse. I am overweight and out of shape and have been going to the chiropractor approximately once a week for the past 10 years. For many reasons I decided to do the Breast Cancer walk, one of which I thought it would be that it's the perfect incentive to get myself back into an exercise routine to get back into shape. My thinking was that it would help me while I am helping others.
Well... weeks went by and I found myself "too busy" to work out. The madness was running the show. When the week of the event came, I realized that it was too late and I would have to deal with whatever came my way. That week I also found myself "too busy" to go to the chiropractor until the last minute and by then I was to tight for him to give me a good adjustment. So I walked the 5 miles 40 lbs overweight, out of shape with my back severely misaligned and you know what? ...the experience surprised me.
It was a brisk fall morning with the sun shining beautifully. The weather was perfect and the walking was easy, encouraged by great company and the high spirits and energy of the event. It was only at the 3.5 mile mark that I noticed my feet were starting to hurt and by the end of the walk my knee and hips had started to hurt a little as well. As the rest of the day progressed after the walk though, I gradually felt more and more achy. So when bedtime rolled around I took 2 advil before hitting the sheets and the next day, when I woke up, almost all of my pain was gone. My back was better than it's been in a couple of years!
The whole experience has made me want to say "Eff it all!" Here I am trying to "make something of myself" doing something I love but feeling physically terrible while doing it and ending up feeling mentally terrible as well. Then I go and do something physical that I feel is probably beyond what I should be doing (and maybe it is because of my state of health) and I feel better! Doesn't make any sense!
The only thing that I can think of is that I have been an athlete my whole life. I played softball for years, both slow and fast pitch. When I got tired of that I started playing hockey. That lasted about 7 years until the injuries added up to more back and neck pain than I could stand. So I quit and haven't been the same since, gradually getting more and more out of shape and overweight. I know losing the weight will help my back but like I said before I keep finding myself "too busy". That 5 mile walk showed me that I can push myself harder than I thought and it is stupid for me to let life get in the way. I am going to do my best to stop "the madness". Life is far too short. Thanks for listening.
from left to right: my cousin Cindy, my cousin Ann, me, Ann's friend Renee
